6: Get Out of the Over-40 Brain Fog & Multiply Your Productivity

This episode is for the woman who has walked into a room and forgot why you were there; lost your train of thought mid-sentence; or read the same paragraph 3x before it finally sunk in...and it seems to be getting worse.

This is midlife brain fog.

You might think it's just part of peri-menopause or aging. But there is more to it. 

There is a very specific physiological reason why your memory isn't as sharp and you're having a hard time focusing. And, there is a very big patriarchal myth that is making it worse. 

The good news midlife brain fog is not inevitable, and it doesn't have to be long-term. It is FIXABLE. 

If you want to know how to fix it, so you can be focused and productive, hit play. 

Join the Midlife Red Tent Program HERE.

Find us on instagram:

Jen: @jenreimercoaching

Sheri: @sherijohnsoncoaching

Transcript

podcast - August 15

@37:09 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Okay, so something that has been happening to me a lot lately, during particularly when I'm on a group coaching call, I'm listening to someone talk, and I have a response, multiple responses is usually what happens, and then I lose my train of thought.

Or I forget what I want to say. Even like mid-sentence. And maybe this has happened to you. You walk into a room and you forget why you're there, or you lose your train of thought mid-sentence, or you read the same paragraph three times before it finally sinks in.

And if you're anything like me, you probably think it's just stress, or you're tired, or is this just aging?

think? think? What think? What What What do do What I have realized is that there is another very real physiological reason why this is happening and why your resulting to-do list is actually getting longer.

And no matter how many extra hours you work, you can't seem to get to the end of it. Jen and I are going to dig into this in this episode, and by the end, you're going to see how the very thing that you're doing to catch up is actually the thing that's making it worse.

And we're going to share three tips on how to multiply your productivity. So stay tuned. Okay, regular intro. Okay, I'm kind of excited about this episode because this is something that I'm struggling with right now.

And a lot of my other symptoms, Jen, have really been able to alleviate most of my symptoms of perimenopause.

But this is one that kind of keeps hanging on. And it's interesting or serendipitous because literally like before we hit record, I was listening to another podcast with Dr.

Mindy Pels and Stacey London. And Stacey London was talking about this very thing about getting on stage and suddenly losing your train of thought.

@39:25 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Oh, how awful. Well, you know what?

@39:29 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

She said that it wasn't, I think she was describing somebody else who this had happened to. And that person said, I forget exactly who she was referring to, just said, I forget the exact words, but like I'm having a Menno moment.

Like pause for the Menno. And let me remember what I wanted to say. And I think we do sort of chalk this up to, I'm just getting older.

My memory's not as good or... I don't know. I find the other thing is I can't find the words I'm looking for.

I think that's another related thing. So, Jen, I think you've had a similar experience, and you were telling me that this also led to you overworking and overcompensating.

So I think that's probably a good place to start is, okay, we all know what we feel, and what do we do to try to fix it?

I actually want to take a step back because not all women actually know what they feel. Okay.

@40:44 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Because I kept hearing this word brain fog when I was in my 40s, and I was like, what are you talking about?

Like, I didn't really know what that meant. And you just sort of described it here, but I thought I was just unprepared.

Because at the time, I was writing my thesis for my PhD. And PhD work is like, it requires so much cognitive power.

@41:13 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep.

@41:14 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You're reading, you are reading academic papers constantly, and then trying to put your thought, like summarize thousands and thousands of papers into one thought.

And it, I thought that I was, first of all, I thought it was a slow reader.

@41:34 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Oh yeah, me too. And really embarrassed about it because my supervisor was like, you should be reading at least five articles a day.

@41:42 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And these are not magazine articles. For anyone who hasn't done post-grad work, they're not magazine articles. They are 23-page, very dry, academically written research papers.

So I thought it was a slow reader and I was, I felt really ashamed about it. And I thought it was tired because I wasn't getting a very good sleep at the time.

So I'm like, I'm just tired. So I'd be reading sentences three times before it would sink in. I was reading and I was getting things done very slowly.

@42:20 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep. And you know what, sorry, Jen, to interrupt. Do you know what else I just thought of that I was chalking it up to was the distraction culture.

Like I thought this is happening because I'm distracted all the time with like, with all of the different points of stimulation, like just on your phone alone is like multiple notifications going off all the time.

And even if you put it on, do not disturb, there's so many opportunities to get distracted. And part of me was sort of like, okay, this is just because this is our now culture.

Like I can't focus on it. Anything? Because there's all these distractions.

@43:04 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Definitely. I felt that too. And I also thought it was boredom.

@43:09 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Oh, yeah. Yeah. When you read a sentence three times, you're like, I must not be interested in this sentence or this book.

Yeah.

@43:17 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I'm not interested in this. What I'm doing is boring right now, and I'm tired, and I don't want to read it.

so, and I also, at the same time, because I want to, I want to just talk about all these, like, symptoms, and that sometimes it's hard to pinpoint them because there are lots of women out there who don't realize that these are actual symptoms that they could do something about.

Yeah. The other thing I didn't realize, so the other thing I didn't realize at the time was the memory loss.

Like, all these women who are my age are talking about the memory loss, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

I'm not, like, I haven't had that until I started to see a little bit of Oh, I'm forgetting people's names.

And I used to be really good with names and faces and started to like, I started to have to search for someone's name.

And then the other day I was standing with a whole bunch of moms. Um, and they're talking about this kid's birthdays coming up and my, Leah was invited to the party and they're like, um, Nyle is turning one suit.

I was like, how did they said, she's already walking. And I was like, how did that happen so fast?

Like, how is she eight months already? And they're like, she's not eight months. She's a year. And I went, oh, okay.

And they said, Jen, you're invited to the party. And I went, oh crap. Right. Leah and I are invited to the birthday party for this one year old.

And I've forgotten that I got an invitation. And I went, right. And then I did something else too. What did I say after that?

after It was so embarrassing. And they're all looking at me like, what is the problem? What is your problem?

Because then the other thing I did, I was like, oh, we're invited to the party? And they're like, yes, it's next weekend.

And I was like, oh my God, I have plans next weekend. I have to go change those. And the whole thing just kept getting more ridiculous and more ridiculous.

And they're all staring at me because I'm older than all these moms, right? None of them have even hit 40 yet.

They're all going like, what is wrong with you and your brain? And it was only then that I started to go, oh, okay, I'm getting the memory loss too.

Yeah, I can totally relate to that.

@45:38 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like I've done, Jen, this is what I did one time. Oh my gosh. I had a virtual retreat planned for a Saturday morning at 11.

I am. your clients?

@45:52 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

With my clients.

@45:54 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And it was at 11 o'clock in the morning. And I had spent, like I had the email. I was already scheduled to go out, like to remind them to show up, and I had prepared for it, like just the day before, and then that morning came, and I had this other thing that I was applying for, and there was kind of a test that I was doing, and so I, at 9 o'clock, I was like, alright, I'm going to spend my morning doing this test, and I turned all my notifications off, I'm like, I need to focus, I just need to get this done.

Oh oh no. Turned all my notifications off, I saw a couple of them come up on like Instagram, and I'm like, oh, these are from my clients, and I ignored them.

And so at 12 o'clock, when I finished, I go to my phone, and I'm like, oh my god, I've completely missed the entire retreat, everyone's trying to get into the Zoom, and couldn't get into the Zoom, and I just had this complete, complete, it was such a, like, it

I actually had a moment where I thought I am going crazy because I had spent a lot of energy on this thing and I had thought about it the night before.

I think I had even thought about it that morning when I first woke up at like 6.30 in the morning or whatever time it was and then completely had a gap.

And I just like, I just, my clients forgave me thankfully and we rescheduled and we did it another day.

But it was like a moment and this is the part that I want people or listeners to get. It feels like you're going crazy because this doesn't happen.

Like you don't forget an entire retreat with your clients. Like how does that happen? And I thought to myself afterwards like what the heck?

But that is exactly what you're talking about. It's the brain fog. It's the memory loss. It's

@48:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's menopause. Yeah, actually, I will, and it's so important to talk about this stuff before we get into the reasons why, because so many women say to me that they feel like they're going crazy in perimenopause.

And in fact, one of our mutual friends yesterday said it to me. She's like, I thought I was going crazy.

And when I finally sat in my naturopath's office and she said that it was normal, I started crying. Hmm.

@48:28 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That's what she said to me. Because you feel validated.

@48:31 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Finally, it's like, oh, I'm not alone. This is normal.

@48:34 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep. And someone hears me.

@48:37 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So to our listener, we hear you. We feel you. We've been there and you are not alone. Okay. So Sheri, can I talk next about like, what is, we've talked about kind of what it is and like, it's forgetting appointments, it's forgetting all this stuff, wondering why you walked into the room, forgetting, even sometimes forgetting to turn the water off in the sink.

Can I talk next about what in our brain is causing this? Because I found this so fascinating.

@49:07 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, please do. Go ahead, Jen. Okay. So I learned this from a neuroscientist.

@49:13 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

name is Dr. Lisa Moscone. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right, but she wrote a book called The Menopause Brain.

And I haven't read the book yet. And now I'm dying to pick it up. So I've read some of her research publications.

And so there are two things that are, I'm simplifying and I haven't read all her stuff, but what I've learned is these two things about our menopause brain.

And the first is that estrogen estrogen is like a master regulator of our brains. So in the brain, we have all kinds of estrogen receptors.

So it regulates all sorts of things in our body and there are receptors in our brains that when we receive the estrogen to the receptors, then it tells our body to do something.

And when estrogen levels decline, a critical energy source is gone. So it's like our perimenopause brains are tired.

@50:26 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Oh, well, that's how it feels. Yeah, it is.

@50:30 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's tired, which is one of the reasons why we need more sleep and menopause. Like you might need eight, nine hour, like nine, 10 hours of sleep as you're going through menopause.

The same way that teenagers need, you know, 10, 12 hours of sleep as they're going through puberty.

@50:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yeah. I talk about that all the time. And then we get less sleep. Yeah, body and your brain are going through significant changes.

Mm-hmm. And the next part, which is even more fascinating to me.

@50:59 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Mm is that menopause is actually a neurological transition that impacts the brain's structure, connectivity, and metabolic profile. That's interesting.

@51:20 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Okay, so what do all those mean?

@51:23 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So I'm going to simplify it and rather not get into all the science. What it means is that the neural pathways and the actual structure of your brain is changing during menopause.

So of course, imagine, like, I'm trying to think of a metaphor for this. Imagine, I'm almost imagining like a set of highways.

Like, they were at our highway on-ramp around here in Niagara. Carmichael. I'm So Thank They redid it, the whole thing recently.

And it took a couple of years to do it. And they changed everything. Like the way that you got on, the way you got off.

Now suddenly there's all these new traffic lights and new circles that you have to go around. And all this stuff has happened.

And it took three years for that to happen. And now we're all trying to get used to this new way and it feels all awkward.

And you never quite know where to go. You're always kind of hesitant. And your brain actually wants to go the old way because we thought, like my car actually wants to go the old way.

So, because I was so used to the way that I got on the highway and the road I took and the path I took.

And now that's all changed. And it's confusing everybody.

@52:49 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That is a great analogy. Yeah. I have been on that very intersection. Well, it's not just an intersection. That part of the highway.

And I have felt exactly that. I'm like, what? This is, this is supposed to go that way. And this is backwards now.

This is reversed. And so now where do I go? And it is, it's awkward. And it's, it feels a bit scary.

Like a bit, um, like I feel like I'm to go way. Yeah. You feel like you're going to miss your turn.

@53:20 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And there's two ways to get to the same point that I need to go now. Um, so there's, so this is essentially the way that I picture what is going on in our brain during behavioral menopause.

@53:35 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Mm-hmm.

@53:36 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So if that's, what's happening and that was not just changing the path, like they rebuilt concrete structures. Right.

@53:45 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

For this to happen.

@53:47 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So of course we're going to have some memory loss. We're going to have, um, we're going to forget things.

Our brain's going to feel foggy because there's so much frigging stuff. Yeah.

@54:02 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And, and exhausted. Like that's a lot of brain power, a lot of stuff like that's going to take up a lot of energy.

@54:11 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah, exactly. And so the good news is it, it is not an aging thing.

@54:25 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

It's a menopause thing. It's a menopause thing.

@54:28 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And it's a transitional thing.

@54:31 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That is good news. It subsides after the process is complete.

@54:37 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I mean, our brains continue to change throughout our entire life. That's called neuroplasticity, but, but they, but this process, like the worst of it gets better.

Now, a little note of qualification. If you, if you, our listener feels, feel this in a very intense, sudden way, and it does.

doesn't subside after a couple of years, talk to your doctor about it, because that could be a symptom of something else.

@55:08 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Right. Jen, can we go back to something I was just thinking about within that analogy and how, as I was going through this whole new entry and exit to the highway, a part about it sort of feeling scary and feeling hesitant and am I going the right way, that translates to confidence, right?

Like you lose confidence when your memory and your, like when all of that feels kind of shaky, then you're also not going to show up to your business or to your work or whatever, whatever you do in the same way as you used to, right?

@56:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Totally. Yeah. So what is confidence in yourself and trust in yourself and in your capabilities? Yeah.

@56:11 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Literally like the foundation underneath you feels shaky. Yeah. That makes so much sense. Yes. So what's the, I know you've probably done some research on this too, like how this shows up at work for high performers.

Most of the women listening to this are high performers. They're achievers. They're successful women. What's the research show?

@56:48 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, the way, so first the way that it, there's a bunch of different things that happen. So in the way that we operate, we still try to live up to, even if you're not.

You're still trying to live up to the role that you were in and the identity that you had as in your work, let's say.

So I was known as the go-to person. And head into perimenopause, and you might not be able to live up to that identity anymore.

Or, you know, the person that never missed a detail.

@57:28 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And now suddenly you're missing details.

@57:31 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And you start to wonder, like, are people noticing this? Are they judging me? Am I now going to be passed up for a promotion?

There's the confidence thing. there's, it totally, it affects your confidence. It affects how you operate and what most women do.

So first of all, it affects how, like, when we talk about confidence. So, um, women, 57. Percent of women, at least in this, in a couple of studies that I wrote thereabouts, perceive that they have a reduction in productivity.

So whether it's real or not, we're not sure, but women who are going through this are perceiving that they're not as productive as they used to be.

They're not as sharp. They don't feel like they're getting as much done.

@58:23 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And real or perceived doesn't really matter, right? No, no.

@58:27 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And then they also, in conjunction with that, have concerns about being perceived as less capable. So they're perceiving their own less lower productivity and then getting nervous about being perceived as less capable by other people.

And that's about 50% of women feel like they're being perceived as less capable. So then what do you do?

You start working harder. To make up for it. That's what I did. I was in my PhD. I worked longer.

I worked harder to try to make up for this embarrassing loss of productivity. For me, it was shameful. Yeah.

@59:08 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Loss of productivity.

@59:11 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And the problem with that is that when you're already, your stress levels are higher, right? Because you feel like you have less confidence.

Everything's changing. You don't trust yourself anymore. You're feeling stressed because now you're feeling like, oh my goodness, people are going to see this.

They're going to pass me up for a promotion or they're going to judge me or I'm going to do something embarrassing in a meeting.

And I'm talking about work because that's where my research is. But this can happen in any situation. Like you can do something embarrassing in your social circles.

You can forget your kid. You're supposed to pick them up at gymnastics or something. Like all these things can happen and you start to feel more stress that you're going to forget stuff.

So you create this. To-do list that keeps getting longer and more overwhelming and you get more stressed and you work harder.

And that, we know, makes it worse because when you're stressed, you don't think straight. Your brain gets foggy when you're stressed.

So now it's a vicious cycle. You work harder, you're overcompensating for what you perceive as you not being sharp, whether it's at home or at work.

Mm-hmm. And then you get more stressed and you can't think straight even less. Well, and you know what?

@1:00:33 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I'm just thinking about how that shows up at home. And even recently, and by the way, I have a dog sleeping under my desk.

So if you hear like doggy snores, that's him. Um, so I was thinking about this, like just recently getting ready for, we've, we've.

I've entertained a few times over the last few weeks. And I keep looking at the way that I'm getting ready to entertain, like getting food ready and getting the house ready.

And I'm so frazzled about it. And I look at myself afterwards and go like, why did it take me two hours to get those two appetizers ready?

And what, like, I feel so much less efficient at home as well as at work. Like, yeah, I've been looking at how much I get done during the day.

And I always, and this may or may not be true, but it's perceived that I'm getting less done, taking me longer to do things.

And then at home, it's the same. Takes me longer to, to like, I feel like I'm kind of all over the place, even if I'm not.

Yeah.

@1:01:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So Sheri, have a perfect example of that for anyone that, that might be thinking like, it doesn't show up at home.

It's purely at work. So this is what happens. I've noticed this recently. So when I am stressed in the morning, because like stress, because we're in a rush, like if I wake up later than normal or something happens and I'm late and I'm trying to get Leah off to school, so much has to happen in the morning, right?

Especially now that I'm doing it solo. So I, and I can't seem to get it together to do anything the night before.

So I am trying to make her breakfast and she always wants eggs and bacon. Like something that's hard, like a lot.

@1:02:36 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No.

@1:02:36 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And I do it because I don't want her to eat sugary cereal for bar or like any, they're all sugary.

I wanted to start her day with protein. So I do it. So it's like breakfast, making lunches, getting her dressed, getting her hair done, all this stuff.

And what happens when I'm stressed is I start to like, I'll pull the eggs out of the fridge and then I'm like, okay, I gotta get her lunch ready.

So I'm like, okay, maybe I can be more efficient. This is all going on in the back of my mind.

I can pull, what can I pull out for her lunch at the same time as I'm in the fridge?

And then can I cook her lunch and breakfast at the same time? So I'll start the oven and maybe put, I don't know, chicken fingers in the oven and then try to get the eggs going.

And by the end of it, I'm doing so many things at once because I'm hurrying that the eggs are getting burnt, I'm spilling stuff, I can't find my phone.

And then she's not ready. And then I forget her water bottle and we're rushing out the door and it's crazy.

@1:03:34 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And it takes longer. It takes longer.

@1:03:39 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And it's all just because of this, like, I'm trying to do multiple things at once and multitasking is impossible if you're in a stressed state.

@1:03:49 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I would actually argue this is a whole nother topic, but multitasking in general, our brains can't actually do it.

@1:03:57 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

They can't. And I learned that from a neural scientist too. Yeah, we'll talk about that in another episode. So yeah, so the stress that you feel just makes it worse.

That's the way to think about it. And I'm sure every mom has been in that state, if they have children.

And you know what, it doesn't matter if you have children or not. When you're rushing around, that's what happens.

Yeah.

@1:04:21 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, I mean, that happens to me all the time, especially when I'm trying to get out the door. It seems to be when I'm trying to get out the door.

That I'm, you know, especially if I'm, I don't know, this is probably going to happen tomorrow. We're going to a family reunion or whatever, and I need to make something.

And I'm, you know, if I know we're going to be gone for a night, then I'm like, okay, I gotta turn off the lights, and I gotta water the plants.

And I gotta, not that I need to water the plants, but that would probably go through my mind. Yeah.

I'm do all these things. And it's, yeah, you're absolutely right. It's, it, it becomes, this is, this is the definition of overwhelming, you know.

You you're trying to do all these things and then none of it gets done well.

@1:05:06 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And that's when you like spill things or it's when you have to do the extra things like cleaning up something from the floor or whatever.

It just makes more work.

@1:05:15 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

brushing around.

@1:05:16 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

makes more work.

@1:05:17 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep.

@1:05:18 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And at work, you're cutting corners and that makes more work because then you haven't solved the problem perfectly and you end up solving another problem in firefighting and that's what happens.

@1:05:27 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. So you and I both know that this is not the only part of the story. So what else is causing this?

@1:05:39 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah, of course, we have to dig into this because that's what this podcast is all about is the conditioning, the patriarchy, the narratives that make it worse.

So this is all research backed as well. This is what I've been learning through my research is so let's talk about the workplace.

Thank you. Thank These narratives that are subliminal and that exacerbate this feeling. So starting point, there's this concept of the ideal worker bodies.

So the ideal worker in today's business world is like a man. They're rational, intellectual. Now, not that women aren't, but it's like the stereotypical view of men's bodies.

Rational, intellectual, self-contained, strong, aggressive when necessary, and without extra burdens, like external burdens like children.

@1:06:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Right. That's the ideal worker in many workplaces today.

@1:06:52 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And I will say like physically strong too, like especially in, even in like healthcare. Yeah.

@1:06:59 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And. And strong emotionally.

@1:07:01 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So both ways.

@1:07:02 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So that's the ideal worker.

@1:07:03 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And this is just a norm that we have, at least in Western society.

@1:07:07 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, in a women's body- Oh, go ahead. Sorry. I just want to add to that. What's coming to mind for me is even just in the way that they dress and the way that men used to dress.

Like for me, I used to work in the financial industry and like the men were always in these suits.

And so I would show up like really put together and wearing a, like not a flowy dress, a suit that was cut and tailored and you know what I mean?

Yep.

@1:07:46 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And black or navy, not pink or orange or red or like something, you know, like it was, depends on the country you're in.

Like it differs in some countries, but yeah, in Canada, it was, yeah, I'm going I'm show up and I'm look professional and I'm going to act like I'm in.

I'm going to be logical and fact-based and at least I'm simplifying, but yeah, that's sort of the stereotypical view.

And of course, also the dress code has changed so much.

@1:08:18 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I think COVID like completely changed that too, but that's sort of the image that I have.

@1:08:27 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, and that is still the norm against which women's performance at work is measured. Yeah. So, and that is from research in the 2020s.

That is not research from the 1980s. Right. This is still what is the norm in workplaces today. And so what that does, so now imagine women's bodies.

And just women themselves are understood as leaky, emotional. Okay, can we stop there for a second?

@1:09:11 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Uh-huh. Is that a word that they use in the research? Or is that? Yes. Like, that's not one that I hear a lot of women say.

@1:09:19 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Like, I feel like I'm leaky. But no, it's an academic, like, it's a way that they have termed. All these things that it's the way that they are trying to show that women's bodies are seen as negative in the workplace.

Because we have periods. Right. We, like, think about all the things in menopause, the way that our bodies, quote-unquote, leak.

Yeah.

@1:09:52 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Sweat, tears, periods, discharge, even, okay. Maybe too much information, but discharge, yeast infections. Yeah.

@1:10:06 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

All the stuff that women's body, we get like flushed. In pregnancy, breasts. Yes, leaking breasts. A friend of mine told me about this story, but yeah, like her breasts were leaking at work and she was like, oh my God, I have to go home immediately.

@1:10:25 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Mm-hmm.

@1:10:28 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So our bodies are, so that is, yes, it's an academic term, but I love that term because it just shows how women's bodies are unacceptable.

Yeah. Or it's a good way to portray that idea that women's bodies are unacceptable. And we as women are like emotional, we're hormonal, and unreliable.

Mm-hmm. And then physically weak. Yep. And finally, we've talked about this before. I Under the power of our reproductive capacity.

What do you mean by that? We are like our reproductive capabilities are what control us. We're controlled by hormones, our emotions, our ability to get pregnant, our .

@1:11:21 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep. Yeah. about it.

@1:11:23 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Like women are liked when they're young and youthful and beautiful. Like more liked. Like that's a stereotyping. But so all of these things make us unsuited to the workplace and more suited to the home.

Right.

@1:11:41 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

As defined by patriarchy.

@1:11:43 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So then in the workplace, we feel like we're kind of othered. Yep.

@1:11:50 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like we're sort of set aside.

@1:11:53 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So then we need to prove ourselves, manage our bodies. Like make sure our bodies are disciplined. At work. Push through the symptoms.

Even if you're having period pain, like this goes for women who aren't even in menopause yet or whatever, like push through the period pain, like mold your body until it fits the mold.

And that is stressful. And it also, all of this makes us feel like we have to prove our value in the workplace and often in life.

Yeah.

@1:12:28 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, I can still relate to that. It's very subconscious or unconscious. You know, I never realized I was doing this until we started talking about it and I started researching it myself and, you know, going on my own journey of understanding the patriarchal influences on us.

And now that I look back on especially my corporate life, I can really see how I was living within...

That and, and constantly trying to prove my, trying to prove my value, trying to prove that I deserve to see to the table, trying to gain respect without having to like do, you know, a man walks in the room and they immediately get respect or like a new hire, new man starts in a role and he automatically gets respect.

A woman starts in a new role and she has to earn it.

@1:13:29 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And that, that may not always, sure that may, may not always be true, but at least it often feels that way.

Of course.

@1:13:39 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. I'm, I'm totally, yeah, absolutely. There, and there's lots of women who I am sure, um, walk into the workplace and do get automatic respect or do feel like they, they don't feel imposter syndrome.

Which is really kind of what that is.

@1:14:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's not, you know, feeling like you have to prove your value. Yeah, that's imposter syndrome.

@1:14:10 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So kind of beginning to wrap this up, if our listeners are feeling some of these things, what can they start doing about it?

@1:14:21 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Okay, I've got three things. And I'm going to start with the thing that is the easiest. And then the third step is going to be like, actually, how do we address this patriarchy, like this conditioning?

So first step is a really simple thing. And that is to continue to try new things, learn new things, get out and socialize, because that's always something new and changes of scenery.

Do the brain work, even if it's like puzzles, because that allows your brain to continue to create these new pathways and to adjust.

To it. So when I talked about how the brain is flexible and we have natural neuroplasticity to help it to be more plastic and adjust to this new structure and this new highway, continue to use it.

Yep.

@1:15:17 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So that's the first thing.

@1:15:18 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

That makes sense. And yeah, another thing you can do is also very simple. Take omega-3 and 6, which is the easiest way to get that is by taking a fish oil every day.

That helps. It's just a supplement that helps your brain. You know more about this than me, Sheri, as the nutritionist.

Helps your brain to adjust to new neural pathways.

@1:15:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. there's, oh my gosh, I can think of so many more and things that have helped me. Well, we'll have to save that for another day or for the midlife red tent.

@1:16:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. Well, so talking about the midlife or a tent. So the third thing is to release this conditioning that tells you internally, like if you, our listener, have internalized any of these beliefs that I've got to prove my worth or my value, I've got to prove my value at work.

I've got to prove my value as a mother or as a good wife or whatever.

@1:16:26 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

In other words, you're always striving to be good enough. Yeah.

@1:16:33 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And that causes you to work harder and not be able to slow down without feeling guilty, without fearing dropping the ball.

So releasing the subconscious patterns and the limiting beliefs that are driving you to work harder and... Stay busy proving your value.

That's going to be the biggest thing. That's going to help you get over the brain fog. Slowing down is what you've got to do.

That's step three. But the only way you're going to slow down is by releasing these subconscious patterns.

@1:17:18 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And that's easier said than done.

@1:17:22 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's not just like, you can't just tell yourself, okay, I'm going to stop believing that. Exactly. Because 90% of our behavior is automatic, driven by these subconscious patterns.

So we don't even realize often what those subconscious patterns are. We're unaware of them. We learn them in childhood, they're coping mechanisms, and they just get ingrained in ourselves as beliefs.

Yeah.

@1:17:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And that's where we operate from.

@1:17:49 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So we can't expect to be able to slow down and change our behavior unless we release those subconscious patterns.

And that's what we do in the midlife red tent. Along with all the body things, more supplement ideas, more tailored to what each person is going through.

So the Midlife Red Tent is our program for women over 40 who want to get out of the symptoms, stop the brain fog, and release, who are ready to release those subconscious patterns that are keeping them so busy and exhausted so you can thrive and rise.

Because that's the missing piece that I see out there.

@1:18:33 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

It's like, yeah, we're going to do all, there's all the physiological stuff, which is what most people are talking about.

But if you don't release the subconscious patterns, all the physiological stuff isn't going to work.

@1:18:45 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Exactly. Or at least it's not going to work as well or 100%. That's why we stay frustrated. Yeah.

@1:18:53 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So I know that it is hard to slow down because of that need to. So your reputation, your brand, as one of our clients said the other day, your reputation at work or even as a mom or as a friend, the friend who's always there.

It's hard to slow down. And that is why in the next episode, we're going to talk about how to set healthy boundaries as midlife women without feeling guilty or selfish.

And that's going to allow you to slow down, reduce your stress, and in turn, the brain fog. We're going to cover why it's so hard to set boundaries without guilt in the first place and how to release that guilt so that you can actually slow down.

So come back for that in the next episode and we will see you then.

@1:19:44 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And don't forget, if you like this episode, talk about it with your friends, share it with them, and just go down to the five stars that are beneath the title and give us a five-star rating.

That helps us get our message out there. We're so grateful for that. And that's all for now. See you next time.