18: How to Prevent the Holiday 5 (lbs) Without Missing the Fun

Dieting is the worst way to lose weight. Especially coming up to the holidays! 

I know, it’s counterintuitive to all we’ve been told.  But deep down, you probably already know that dieting just makes you crave what you're "not supposed to be eating", very few people have the willpower to be as restrictive as diets require and you just end up beating yourself up every time you fall off the wagon.  Sound familiar?

You might have even made one of the following mistakes...

• Resigning yourself to gaining 5 (or 10) pounds over Christmas
• Starving yourself all day so you can “eat what you want” at the party
• Dieting before the season so you have more room to gain a few over the holidays

These make it worse. And it's okay, we’ve made all of these mistakes too.

That's why we recording this episode - so we can crack open the worry that many midlife women carry into November and December: the belief that gaining “the holiday five” is inevitable. 

You'll discover: 

• the real reason women gain weight in the fall/winter
• the common holiday mistakes that make the weight gain worse
• what your nervous system has to do with it
• what actually works to keep off the holiday 5

We take a grounded, spiritual, and body-wise approach to understanding why this happens and how to move through the season without gaining weight or giving up your favourite holiday treats.

And if you fear gaining weight you’ll struggle to lose, but want to enjoy the holidays without feeling heavy, ashamed, or angry at yourself, this episode is just for you. 

Plus, we’re giving away our best secrets for enjoying the party food in your belly, without it turning to belly FAT.  

Get our guide to the midlife breakfasts that will help you skyrocket your energy, sleep more soundly and drop a jeans size.  Get it here.

Join our next Balanced Body Blueprint - Free Focus Group here. 

Find us on instagram:

Jen: @jenreimercoaching

Sheri: @sherijohnsoncoaching

Transcript

Today we're talking about something so many midlife women quietly worry about, and that is avoiding that holiday five. You know, the holiday five pounds that you sort of resign yourself to that you're going to gain, but isn't necessary.

And we're going to do this from a spiritual perspective without dieting and restriction and judgment. But we are going to talk about why we gain and what actually makes it worse and what you can do differently this year so that you can enter January feeling nourished instead of heavy and grounded in your body, loving your body.

So that sounds. Good. Keep listening. Okay, Sheri. Yeah.

@23:11 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Hey, sometimes I forget the pleasantries. There was something that you said in that intro that just really caught my attention.

And it was the idea that we resign ourselves to gaining, like, I know I'm going to gain five pounds, so I'm just going to, like, it's just going to happen.

I have no control over it. Instead of actually giving ourselves permission to gain five pounds. And they're two very different energies, but I think that's what I have always felt up until probably the last couple of years, is that resignation to, well, it's the holidays, the holidays are coming, I'm just going to have to wait until January.

Because I'm going to gain five pounds. It's just, it's inevitable.

@23:59 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yep. I have a friend who does that all the time. It's like, I'm going away this weekend. So I know, I just know I'm going to gain five pounds.

And it's, and I, I used to just think like, there was something about it that always bothered me. And I was like, well, I don't do, I don't do that.

I never did that.

@24:19 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No, I didn't.

@24:20 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And I didn't weigh myself after a weekend away or weigh myself after Christmas.

@24:24 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Cause that's just torture. Yeah.

@24:28 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And, and yeah, I agree. It's, it's like this resignation that, yeah, I'm just going to gain five pounds. Let's just accept it.

But you're not really accepting it. You're not actually just giving yourself permission to gain five pounds and there's a difference.

@24:43 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. It's more like a, for me, it felt like, well, F it. I might as well eat like everything on the spread here in front of me because I can't, I don't want to have to deal with willpower and I, I'm just going to deal with a weight gain and worry about it later.

Worry about it.

@25:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

January. Yeah. You just go into bucket mode. Yeah.

@25:04 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, completely.

@25:05 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And so what I want to start with actually is just to notice, you said something to me the other day that hit home and that was that our bodies are supposed to gain weight in the winter or in the fall as we approach winter.

@25:22 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. They're hardwired. Yeah.

@25:26 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Of course they are because back in Paleo days, was famine time, winter. You had food until it lasted. Yeah.

So harvest time, fall, was a time when you feasted and you gained weight. Right.

@25:47 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And to be able to get through the winter on your fat burning system, which we rarely use as humans today, but our bodies are still, we are still living.

In our Paleolithic bodies. I think that's what people don't get. They think we've evolved or something. We haven't. We haven't evolved to deal with the way that we eat in today's society.

@26:14 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, it's also like when we've talked about masculine and feminine energies previously on this podcast and about how masculine energy is very linear.

And this is just another way that masculine energy has permeated our culture is that we've lost that cyclical aspect.

We've lost many cyclical aspects to our bodies, but we've lost this cyclical aspect too. Just allow yourself to gain a couple of pounds over winter.

That's what it's supposed to do.

@26:45 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. That's so true. Yeah.

@26:49 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And then you start to lose it in the summer. It's so linear and it's so out of touch with the way our bodies are supposed to.

That we try to fit, again, we're trying to fit our bodies into this linear, unnatural state.

@27:13 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, and it's something that I think the diet industry or the weight loss industry, the fitness industry really sort of capitalizes on is this idea that like the messages lose the weight and keep it off so that you can stay at your like ideal weight.

But what they're not recognizing is that your ideal weight actually fluctuates, like depending on the season. So like we don't, we have this idea that we should be 120 pounds all the time when, no, that's actually not the case.

Yeah, and that's new to me. I mean, I put a.

@28:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I put a pair of jeans on this morning that I haven't worn all summer and they're feeling a bit tight.

And immediately I was like, oh, I need to, I must be gaining a bit of weight. And I'm like, of course I've been gaining a bit of weight because I've been eating a lot of root vegetables.

@28:14 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

It's fall and they feel cozy. And I've actually been feeling more hungry lately. Yep. Yeah. Your body will do that too.

It will, it, it, so there's actually a mechanism behind this. Like in the summer, your body actually, the way that your insulin works, your insulin and your cortisol, in the summer and the fall, when there's food is plenty, your body actually wants you to eat more.

So it, it ups your, like you will have more fluctuations in your blood sugar naturally because your body is, is turning on the craving.

Like eat more carbs. More starchy root vegetables that are going to be stored so that we are going to be okay for the winter.

But then part of the, we're getting so off tangent here, but the other problem We are going to talk about the holiday five.

@29:15 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Don't worry, we'll get there.

@29:16 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

We are. The other problem is that we don't actually, our bodies don't experience a winter. We don't experience- From a food, well, actually, yeah, you're right.

From perspective, right, I see where you were going. From a food perspective, because food is plentiful throughout the year, but then we also don't experience it from a, like, a temperature, a hardship, like, our body is comfortable all the time.

If you live in a cold climate like we do, you just turn up the furnace if you're cold.

@29:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah, yeah, and we don't, and just don't go outside so much. Whereas actually, it's the cold that helps you burn that off, the extra fat off.

Right.

@30:00 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Because it takes more energy to keep yourself warm. Exactly.

@30:04 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So if you're gaining weight in winter and not going outside and you live in the Northern Hemisphere, then yeah, you're going to gain it and you're going to keep it.

@30:14 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And it's also a time when people don't go, like they don't get as much exercise. They don't get their steps in because they're not going outside.

Like, oh, it's too cold out there. I'm cozy here by the fire and the TV.

@30:29 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. Yep. Helps to have a kid who needs to go play outside. Well, she actually doesn't always want to go out either, but she needs the energy released.

So I kind of force her outside and then I'm going to go with her. Well, and so do we.

@30:45 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That's the thing. I know. We talk about how kids need an energy release.

@30:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You go get outside.

@30:52 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So do we. We're just better at kind of hiding it or stuffing it down. We're, you know, doing what we do.

We're We're But that actually is detrimental. Yeah, yeah.

@31:05 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So I guess that is actually, I wanted to talk about the mistakes that women are making when they're trying to avoid the holiday five.

And Sheri, I think that's probably the first one is like not accepting it in the first place.

@31:20 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, yeah. Your body's supposed to gain five pounds over the fall. Over the winter.

@31:27 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, and just ignoring, like the mistake is like really just ignoring the cyclical aspects of your body and life in general.

Yep.

@31:39 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah.

@31:40 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And what that does too, Sheri, I want to get you to give some more mistakes in a second. But what that does is it puts so much more pressure on you.

Like if you're not allowing that to happen, it puts so much pressure on your willpower. Yeah.

@31:59 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And then you...

@32:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

If I caved and ate, quote unquote, badly, then I would beat myself up. And then there'd be this cycle of shaming myself and judging myself and beating myself up.

And that just makes everything worse. You feel awful and then you go into a it mode and eat even more or binge.

And that also raises your cortisol.

@32:27 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

When you're beating yourself up, you're, you're raising your cortisol and which is going to tell your body to hang on to weight and eat more.

@32:37 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

That's so true. Okay. So women who midlife women who are going into the holiday season, at least in the Northern, most of the Western world, I suppose.

Um, what are some of the things that they're doing that might be mistakes that are making it worse?

@32:57 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, I think the first one is Is skipping meals or like making sure you're hungry before you go to an event or a social gathering or somewhere where you know there's going to be good food.

So it's like trying to save up the calories so that you can eat when you're at the gathering. And what happens is you show up starving and so you eat everything.

And it's actually that like if you just eat the way you normally eat, like have your breakfast and your lunch and your dinner, then, you know, when you go to the cocktail party, you might have a couple of appetizers.

But it's not going to it's not going to start that cycle of, oh, my gosh, I just completely binge.

Now I feel crappy about myself. You wake up the next day and you're like, I'm going to have to starve myself today, too.

So there's mistake number two is like. You ate everything at the party, and so you wake up the next day, and you're like, I have to starve myself today because I ate too much last night, and that just perpetuates the cycle.

@34:15 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah, oh, true. I just had something I wanted to say that was, it was like a penny dropped. Oh, I know what I was going to say.

This was a game changer for me. What I started to do before any kind of party, not just Christmas parties and stuff, but I started to put good things into my body all day so that I didn't feel guilty about eating a couple of little bad things later.

@34:50 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And then I wasn't craving a whole bunch of bad things either. No, that's true too. I don't like that word bad things, by the way.

@34:59 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

that's No, No, No, that's true. true. So unhealthy options, let's say. Yeah.

@35:03 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, and chances are, like quite often, there's a veggie tray at a social gathering. Like there are some healthier options, but I know, but that's no fun.

@35:13 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I know.

@35:14 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

You want to eat the cheese and all the good things. Yeah. So, but eating good, like here's the thing.

What I see a lot of, here's a mistake that I see women making all the time. Starting the day with carbs.

So a bowl of cereal, a bagel, toast and peanut butter, like the peanut butter is kind of offsetting the carbs.

But like when you start your day with carbs and coffee, that immediately starts the blood sugar rollercoaster. Your body is a...

Oatmeal.

@35:52 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Oatmeal.

@35:53 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, oatmeal is like...

@35:54 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

There's this myth out there, Sheri, that oatmeal is low glycemic index. And it's not, no, it's not at all.

@36:05 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No, I used to eat, like I would, people, you know, all the health gurus, quote unquote, would say eat oatmeal, like especially steel cut because they're less processed, steel cut oats.

And I would eat oatmeal for breakfast and I'd put hemp seeds in it. And an hour later, I'd be, I'd be hungry again.

Like I'd feel like low blood sugar. And finally I was like, I don't believe this oatmeal thing. And, you know, the more research I do now is like, yeah, the overnight oats, the steel cut oats.

It's like, don't start your day with that. You're going to be hungry. No, I know.

@36:45 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You know, when I noticed it, Sheri, was when I was pregnant, when your blood sugar is haywire, I couldn't, it was awful.

Like I would just get, I'd get so shaky half an hour after eating oats. was awful. I couldn't, I just couldn't even eat them.

@37:00 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Eggs, avocado. Instead.

@37:05 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Instead. Yeah.

@37:06 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like Greek yogurt, organic if you can, but something like high in fat and high in protein, coconut milk yogurt.

I'm not like a big, you know, this already, Jen, like the whole protein, protein, protein, protein. I'm so tired of that too.

Like it's fat that keeps you satiated. It's not, it's not protein. You know what I'm sure?

@37:27 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

think we should stop there for a second and just talk about the two things that we eat every morning.

So people actually have an example. And I want to, I want to stop actually, and just say to our listener as well, like both of us struggled with our weight for years, like always 10, 15 pounds, little bit like since high school.

Yep.

@37:51 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah.

@37:53 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And when I, for me, when I was 41, that's when I started to lose it all oddly. Cause that's when people are usually gaining.

And these are some of the things that I did accidentally to lose it. And one was I started focusing on all the good things I was putting in my body because then suddenly I stopped feeling guilty about eating a cupcake.

@38:18 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yep.

@38:21 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Which I suddenly noticed one day I was like, oh, I just had a cupcake and I didn't judge myself for it.

And my two friends who were with me didn't have a cupcake. And I didn't feel like embarrassed that I was having a cupcake either.

@38:32 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Oh yeah. That happens all the time. I think like women wait to see, you know, if somebody else is having a cookie or cupcake, then I will.

But if nobody else is having a cupcake, I'm not having a cupcake. That's going to make me look like the glutton or whatever.

And that was what was going on in my head. But now I'm like, I'm going to have two of those actually.

@38:56 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And part of that, yeah, like, because I can feel good about it because I've put like. Salads and good foods into my body, like vegetables and into my body all day.

And then, and then, so then to not start your day with carbs or the mistake, starting your day with carbs, let's just give them an example of what we eat in the morning.

@39:18 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. That helps us like maintain the energy. Yep. Yeah. My favorite breakfast right now, and I go through phases, Greek yogurt, organic grass, like from grass fed cows, berries, sometimes apples.

And you and I both know we make our own granola that has no oats in it. It's just nuts, seeds, coconut oil.

I chop up, I like to chop up figs or dates or something in there. So I'm not adding any sugar either.

There's no honey or anything. It's just, it's the dates and the, the figs that add the sweetness. And it's high in fats from the nuts and the seeds.

And I also buy full fat yogurt. Not the, yeah, I think a lot of people do know fat. And maybe I'm wrong.

Well, there's a lot of like plain Greek yogurt out there that is still non, nonfat. It's actually hard to find the kind with that's full, like me from whole milk.

@40:25 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Oh, I eat coconut. So I don't even, I don't notice because I don't eat dairy. So I, I don't notice.

Coconut yogurt is great.

@40:33 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I love that brand that you have. What's it called?

@40:37 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yosu. Y-O-S-U. Yeah.

@40:43 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So good. Other examples though, eggs, avocado, like scrambled. I sometimes on the weekends I'll make a frittata, like a crustless frittata.

It's just like, almost like egg bites in a big pan.

@40:59 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yep. Egg bites. And smoothies without all the fruit. I don't thicken my smoothies with banana. I thicken my smoothies with avocado.

So there's only half an apple in my smoothie. And then I throw like spinach, beets, lemon.

@41:17 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And then avocado and coconut oil because it's the fat that keeps you satiated. That's the big, that's what I think is the biggest myth out there right now that it's the way that your body digests.

Carbs are going to be digested first. They break down into glucose first. Protein also breaks down into glucose. Fat does not break down into glucose.

Fat breaks down into smaller molecules of fat.

@41:47 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I didn't know that actually. I didn't know that protein also breaks down into glucose. Yeah.

@41:53 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

But I did know that it can raise your blood sugar as well. Totally. Even though it's better.

@42:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's better than carbs. It is.

@42:02 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I used to drink smoothies, and instead of putting fat in, I would put a scoop of protein powder. And I'd be hungry an hour later because it was just fruit and protein powder, basically.

Sometimes I'd add some spinach or vegetables as well. But then I switched to lots of vegetables, apple or berries, and avocado and coconut oil.

And that would last me for like four hours.

@42:33 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So it's the fat that keeps you satiated.

@42:36 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And if you think that it's the protein, what kind of protein are you eating? Like if you're eating protein that has fat in it, like chicken thighs or, you know, ground beef or those sorts of things, there's fat in there.

That's what's keeping you satiated.

@42:51 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It's not the low-fat chicken breast.

@42:56 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No. No. So anyway. That's so interesting.

@43:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You know what I think we should do, Sheri? If anybody's interested in getting some of our recipes, like what we eat in the morning, ideas for morning to cut out the carbs, but still taste good in the morning, then we can put a link to a freebie in the show notes.

@43:21 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, great idea. And they can have our list. Okay, that sounds good. Okay, should we get back to our mistakes?

Yeah, Sheri, any other mistakes that we see women making that are making it worse? I think it's the idea that you have to earn all the treats at the party or whatever, or if you eat something that's quote unquote bad, then you have to work it off.

So it's earning or punishing, earning, you know, if I eat salad all day, or if I don't eat all day.

Then I've earned the calories or I've earned the right to eat all the, you know, the delicious treats and things.

And if I eat all the delicious treats and I didn't do that prep, then I got to work it off the next day.

So, you know, look out.

@44:19 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah, it's the, I don't know what to call it. It's a cycle of like, be good. And if you're not, you're going to get punished.

@44:30 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, that food is somehow moral. Like, where did that idea even come from?

@44:35 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I know. good or bad. Like every, like she, oh, she constantly says, I was so bad today. I'm like, no, you weren't because you ate a cupcake or cookie or whatever it is.

@44:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I know.

@44:46 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

It drives me crazy that like you can sort of judge yourself so badly that way.

@44:52 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like, and I have a lot of compassion for them as well, because that is, it's not their fault. So if you are somebody who's doing that.

By the way, if you're someone who does that, who judges yourself as good or bad based on what you eat, it's not your fault.

@45:08 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And we're not judging you.

@45:11 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yes. We've been conditioned by years and years of diet programming since like the 50s and 60s about what's good and what's bad.

And so that narrative is deeply ingrained in our psyches as women. And that's what we need to start unraveling is this, you're not a bad person if you ate some food that is not as nourishing as it could be.

Yeah.

@45:47 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So yeah, it's horrible that we do that to ourselves. And then we torture ourselves. Like one of the other mistakes that I see is getting on the scale, like every day.

Mm.

@46:01 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, especially in December.

@46:04 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Oh, I don't. I weigh myself maybe once a quarter, or when I feel my pants get too tight. I wanted to get the scale out today.

But stepping on the scale every day in December, thinking it's going to keep you accountable is not going to help you keep the holiday five off.

@46:26 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No, it's just going to show you what's happening in your body. So, and if, well, and what that usually leads to is beating yourself up.

Right. Like, oh my God, I've gained the first pound already, and it's only the first week of December, and I'm going to gain more than five or whatever.

@46:40 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Like, it's just, it's just adding so much pressure to yourself, and it's not going to help. Yeah.

@46:49 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. It's going to make it worse.

@46:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, know what, Jen?

@46:51 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I do get on the scale every day because it, like, I've gotten through the, I used to get on the scale, and then I would beat myself up every day.

If I got on the scale every day. Now I do it, but it's more out of a, I don't know, a ritual.

And it does keep me accountable because I don't beat myself up if the scale goes up or down. Well, if it goes up, generally, we beat ourselves up.

But it's just, it actually does give me a sense of accountability. And where am I sitting lately? Like, does that jive with how I'm feeling in my clothes?

Like, I do feel like my jeans have gotten a little tight around the waist lately. Is that showing up on the scale?

Or what's going on? Like, is this my imagination? Have I shrunk my clothes? Or, so I kind of like to do it, but it's, for most people, you're right.

It does lead to just beating yourself up.

@47:53 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, I'm just thinking about this. So yes, it's good that we monitor our health. So it's, it's. That's probably a good thing to step on the scale.

However, imagine our Paleolithic ancestors monitoring their weight every day. They weren't concerned about it. They were concerned about how much food they had.

@48:18 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep. But like, I think it was ridiculous.

@48:22 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Like, oh my God, I've gained a pound. Like the fact that we even measure it in pounds.

@48:28 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. I know. It's just actually insane.

@48:32 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

That whole concept is ridiculous.

@48:35 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like I wonder when people actually started putting themselves on the scale. Like when did that even start? 60s? 50s?

I don't know.

@48:44 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

70s? I don't know.

@48:47 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I don't know either.

@48:48 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I don't weigh my kid either. And a lot of people are like measuring their kid all the time to check that they're developmentally normal and all this stuff.

@48:58 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

When did we become so obsessed? With the stats.

@49:02 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. Okay. Let's move on to more questions. So, okay. So I want to get to some of the, we've been talking about some of the myths that midlife women are falling for during the holidays, like some of these, this societal conditioning.

So what is, what is, what are some of the myths? Or have we covered that?

@49:29 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, no, I don't think we've quite gotten into the, the why they're myths. So the one about skipping meals, you know, you're saving up calories in order to eat more calories later.

@49:42 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Right.

@49:43 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Skipping meals actually can spike your cortisol. So we, we do advocate for intermittent fasting, but by the same token that does sometimes come with us, it can spike your cortisol.

So. So then that actually is going to lead to, cortisol tells your body to hang on to fat, any kind of threat.

So if you suddenly skip meals and your body's not used to that, your body's going to perceive that as a threat.

It's also going to perceive restriction as a threat. So this is part of why diets don't work that well.

Because if you're restricting your calories or restricting yourself, your body, first of all, your body is like, oh my gosh, there's not enough calories coming in.

We are in a famine. So hang on to the, like, slow the metabolism down so that we keep the weight on.

Yeah. But then the other thing is this restriction that leads to the good-bad mentality. Right. The body also perceives that, that guilt, that judgment, the body perceives that as a threat.

So that's also going to... Oh, raise cortisol and tell your body to, cortisol tells your body to keep weight on.

@51:08 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I think that's a new concept for a lot of people. Like to think about all the guilt and the judgment and the shaming of ourselves and beating ourselves up, like beating yourself up mentally.

And we know this, like when somebody else is beating you up mentally, that's a form of abuse. You beating yourself up mentally is abuse, and that will also spike your cortisol.

Yeah, it sends you into You see that we don't see our own emotions as a threat, as like anxiety creating, or as like that your nervous system will dysregulate in response to that.

But of course it does.

@51:51 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah, it's so logical. Yeah, I know we don't think about our own self-critic as abusive, and yet that abuse...

That our self-critic throws on us is, does exactly that. It creates the fight or flight or freeze response. Yeah.

It's fascinating, right? That's crazy.

@52:13 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. Well, and I mean, that's why, that's why we do, that's why we do this the way that we do it.

Like we take a spiritual approach. We call it spiritual, but it's helping to calm your nervous system by stopping the self-critic.

Yeah. Stopping the other subconscious limiting beliefs so that we don't gain the weight.

@52:35 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of hype around nervous system regulation and dysregulation and, you know, programs and courses and stuff out there about how to regulate your nervous system.

But you won't like, you can have all the somatic tools in the world that will help to calm your nervous system.

But if you still have, like you. You can do the, you know, like what's an example? Like the butterfly hug.

Somatic. Yes. Hug yourself.

@53:05 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I'm hugging myself right now.

@53:07 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That helps to calm the nervous system. But if you're doing that while your self-critic is abusing you and telling you that you're, you know, you have no willpower and you're a failure because you ate a whole bunch of cupcakes, then you're, that doesn't, like, they're counterproductive.

It's not, like, you've got to stop the self-critic. Like, go to the root of the problem, which is the self-critic, not the nervous system.

@53:39 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Right. Yeah, that's exactly it. It's, it's not like you can, you can heal your nervous system or you can work on your nervous system, try to calm it.

But unless you get to the, what's causing your nervous system to go out in the first place, then it doesn't matter how many tools you have.

Yeah.

@53:58 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

It's not going to happen.

@54:00 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And it's that nervous system dysregulation from all of the self-criticism and the willpower and the restricting your calories that causes the cortisol boost.

@54:11 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what causes the weight gain.

@54:14 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And we'll get into that science in a bit.

@54:17 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, related to that is that, so the other myth is that willpower will get you through. Like it's willpower that you need.

You need more discipline. And most of us don't actually have very much willpower at all. It's not powering. It's not willpower that is going to help.

It's nervous system support. It's that self-critic. So you're not a failure if you don't have enough willpower.

@54:47 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You know what I found? When I released and like shifted the subconscious programming and the beliefs that I had about my weight, I did.

@55:03 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No, exactly. You don't feel the, like the, well, and when you balance your body, you're not going to feel the cravings.

So you don't need the willpower for that. Habits is another thing that can help. Like I work out every day, not for very long, but I do something.

I move my body every single day. And when I don't, like, it's just habit. I just get up and I put my gym clothes on and I go into the other room and I work out.

And when I don't do it, it feels weird. Like it feels, I feel, I feel off because I, I'm in such a habit of doing that, that, so it's, it's also building habits that become automatic.

@55:44 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I don't have to think about getting up and going to the gym.

@55:46 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I don't have to be like, oh, I'm too tired today. Like I just, I just don't, I just go and do it because I don't need that willpower anymore.

@55:56 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, and the point, the point I'm trying to make too, is that. It's not just the, it wasn't just because I had balanced my cortisol insulin ratio that I didn't have cravings anymore and I didn't need willpower.

@56:09 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

It's part of it. that, but yeah, that's part of it.

@56:12 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. But what it, what was, I think a bigger part of it was that I didn't have these subconscious beliefs that were compelling me to keep eating.

Yeah.

@56:26 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Like I, like I had this subconscious belief that, like I had a subconscious fear of starvation. Yeah. Which comes from our ancestors who.

@56:36 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

We're alive a few years ago, went through a period of starvation. And so they passed down that genetic fear of starvation.

Actually, it probably did come from like many ancestors ago, but that fear, once I released that, then that was one of the things that really stopped me from like gorging and binging.

@57:04 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yeah, it's fascinating. I think the last thing that I would say just about the mistakes and the myths is around fatigue and being tired.

And we eat, we crave carbs for fuel when we're tired. And I think the mistake that I see a lot of women is overscheduling themselves through Christmas.

And I am 100% guilty of having done this in the past.

@57:35 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. And

@57:36 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Because I sort of thought, well, if somebody invites me to something, I have to say yes, unless I have a reason to say no.

Like, unless I have something else planned, I have to say yes to everything. And so, you know, I was going to all these events, social things, on top of, you know, the extra shopping that you need to do to buy gifts and wrapping and decorating your house and all.

Like, there's so many additional things that we do around the holidays.

@58:06 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Especially in North America. Especially in North America.

@58:10 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So we get very tired. And so that's part of it is making sure you have space in your calendar.

Because as soon as you're tired, everything goes to pot. Most people know this. Yes.

@58:29 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. You're tired, you're going to reach for the chips or the sweets or whatever, because that's what your body wants when it's tired.

I was actually just saying that to one of our clients. The other day, we were talking about boundaries. And she was like, I don't have to say yes if I don't have an excuse.

And I said, yeah, like having, spending a night, an evening at home with yourself is an excuse.

@58:58 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I made a date with myself. I can't make it to whatever you're asking me to come to.

That's allowed.

@59:07 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And I, cause I, and I know, cause I felt this also recently, like I felt I didn't have, I wanted to say no to this thing and I didn't have another excuse.

And for a second I was like, oh, I should say yes, because I don't really have a reason to say no.

And then I went, what am I talking about? I just don't want to do that.

@59:25 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. So, okay.

@59:27 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

So that's the tiredness. So let's talk about what we should be doing instead. And I know this is going to be counterintuitive.

for a lot of our listeners, but stay with us. What are we, what is going to actually keep our women from gaining weight over Christmas or holidays, whatever, whatever that looks like.

@59:50 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So Jen, I think my number one recommendation goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Start the day with a protein and fat rich breakfast.

Because as soon as your breakfast goes off, if you start the day with coffee and carbs, it immediately sends your blood sugar skyrocketing, insulin kicks in, overshoots, and then you get the crash.

And then, you know, you're craving sugar, you're, you're craving more carbs. And then, and so your blood sugar goes on this rollercoaster all day long.

It resets overnight when you have a chance to fast. So if you at least get a protein and fat-rich breakfast, you're starting the day with steady blood sugar.

And then if you can continue that through lunch, amazing. You're going to crave, you're going to have fewer cravings later on in the day.

Most people snack at night and it's because they're hungry after dinner because they've been going on this roller coaster all day long.

@1:01:06 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. So you don't have to restrict your calories.

@1:01:10 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

No.

@1:01:11 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

You're just changing your habit. Yeah. And that's what I think, like, one of the things that I think is one of the biggest myths out there is that we have to restrict calories in order to lose weight.

@1:01:31 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. I actually, I think I actually ate more calories and lost. Like I think when I started eating more butter, more avocado, more coconut oil, like that's when the weight started dropping off.

Nuts, seeds.

@1:01:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

That's when I started losing weight. Yeah. I ate so many nuts and even like nut butters that the sugarless kind that tastes really good and really natural.

And people will say there's so much fat in those. There's so many calories in those. It's like four cashews has a hundred calories or something ridiculous.

@1:02:07 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

I don't know what it is, but it's like something ridiculous. And so I used to avoid them.

@1:02:12 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And now I eat tons of them without thinking about it.

@1:02:16 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. I can't remember the last time I counted a calorie or looked at what the calories were in something.

No, that's why I can't remember.

@1:02:24 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And it's not a hundred calories, but something ridiculous. Okay. So where were we? So what to do instead. So it's not, it's not restrict calories.

It's eat differently. Okay.

@1:02:36 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Don't be afraid of fat. And don't like, it's the protein conversation that we had earlier. Yeah.

Eat more fat.

@1:02:50 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And not the bacon kind. No.

@1:02:54 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Well, I do like bacon, but I hate know.

@1:02:57 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I don't not eat bacon, but I don't eat it every day. Like the good fats, we're talking tahini and nut butters and nuts and avocado and coconut milk, stuff like coconut fat, coconut oil, that kind of stuff.

@1:03:16 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Lots of olives.

@1:03:19 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yep.

@1:03:20 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Okay. So those are the things that are stable. Like focus on stabilizing your blood sugar. I think that's the bottom line, Jen.

Focus on foods that are going to stabilize your blood sugar. Not on fewer calories, not on however many calories something has.

It's focus on the blood stable. Yeah.

@1:03:45 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I'm just looking at some of the things that women have asked me, and I think we've actually answered a lot of them, but I'm going to go through some of them just so that, to bring this home, Sheri.

Mm-hmm. So one of the questions that we get is, then how do I enjoy all the holiday food and traditions?

For us, it's the Christmas cookies, and then the turkey and gravy and all this stuff. How do you enjoy that without feeling like you're sabotaging yourself or losing control?

@1:04:16 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

So I think the number one thing there, Jen, is to slow down. Slow down and eat with presents. So particularly at parties, we're talking, we're doing, like, we're quite often doing a million things while we're...

Sometimes even cooking while we're eating, you know, we're snacking while we're cooking.

@1:04:41 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

I'm guilty of that too.

@1:04:42 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And so I'm not actually even paying attention to what I'm eating. And yeah, it's when I started to slow down and become more present and pay attention to the taste, the texture of what I'm eating.

How does it feel in my mouth? If then I didn't have to eat as much of it. It's quite often mindless eating that causes us to gain weight.

We're not actually thinking about it. We're just grabbing a couple of cookies because we're craving something and we're putting them in our mouths without even really noticing how they taste or feel in the mouth or what's the texture like or, you know, when you slow down.

@1:05:34 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Then even just like, because so often Over the holidays, we're eating, not even just standing up at a party, but at a dinner table with 10 other people and you're talking, so you're not paying attention.

And suddenly you've overeaten and then you're like, oh, I lost control. I'm over full. So what could be the thing that women can start doing now is practicing.

Like right now when it's easier, when you're eating just with your family or maybe even alone, practice getting that presence so that it's a habit by the time you get to Christmas.

Like as we record this, it's only November. So the parties aren't here yet. But so that's a way to avoid the extra holiday five, or maybe it's like the holiday 10 that you can keep down to a more acceptable five.

Yeah, by practicing the These things before switching to carbs so that you're in that practice by the time that you get to the real thick of the holidays.

@1:06:44 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yep. There's two other things that I want to say. Number one is to be intentional. Like before you even go to the party or the dinner or even your own, like this is where grace came from.

People say grace, they stop and have a moment of gratitude for the food that's in front of them. If we are actually, like grace is, people don't say grace anymore.

I don't say grace. Unless it's around our parents. Parents.

@1:07:20 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

And aunts and uncles.

@1:07:22 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. But I do try to, like when you actually stop before you eat and notice what's on your plate and like say a little prayer of gratitude or just be thankful for.

We're having this food in front of you, setting an intention for maybe just for the slowing down, for the, my intention for this meal is to taste every bite.

@1:07:49 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Set an intention before you eat.

@1:07:53 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

And the second thing that I have now forgotten. Oh, I know what it was. The second thing that I wanted to say is when you do, like if, you know, I'm going to a Christmas party on Friday, I know there will be lots of treats there and then there will be a veggie tray.

If somebody doesn't tell me they're bringing it, I will be the one who brings it. And so pair the cheese and the fondue and the, like all the stuff that's maybe a little more heavy in sugar or...

Um... ... Or carbs, salt or carbs, pair it with some vegetables, pair it with some meat, like some protein with, you know, put a few olives on your plate or the guacamole instead of just the cheese dip or the, you know, even the salsa with the nachos, like have the guacamole because that's going to satiate you with healthy fats.

@1:09:03 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Right. So again, we'll put that list in the show notes because a lot of people might need that list of like, what is healthier.

@1:09:15 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. And it's just, again, it's all about balancing your blood sugar. So it's, it's bread and crackers and that are the things to avoid potatoes.

like, those are all the things that are going to spike your blood sugar, sugar, obviously like cookies and cupcakes and all those things, all that stuff is going to spike your blood sugar.

So if you balance. With vegetables, with some protein, with some healthy fats, some nuts, some guacamole, whatever, then that's going to help to stabilize your blood sugar so that you feel full, you're satiated, and then you're also not waking up the next morning with sugar craving again, like starting the whole process over again.

@1:10:02 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Well, and you're going to sleep through the night that way too.

@1:10:05 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yes.

@1:10:06 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Because if you're in midlife and not sleeping during the night, part of the reason that you're not sleeping during the night, or one of the biggest reasons, is that you're eating too much sugar and carbs before bed.

@1:10:16 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. It's the blood sugar, not stabilized.

@1:10:21 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. So it's going to help your sleep and your other symptoms too.

@1:10:25 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

Yeah. So we've given a lot of tips here, Sher.

@1:10:28 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Yeah. But I think what, so what you said, the bottom line is, for all of this is, it's not about restriction.

It's getting into the habits that will stabilize your blood sugar.

@1:10:45 - Sheri Johnson (Sheri Johnson)

That's the underlying through line of everything I talk about. It's blood sugar stabilization. Blood sugar stabilization means like cortisol is a part of that.

So when you stabilize your blood sugar, your cortisol and your insulin are also going to stabilize.

@1:11:02 - Jennifer Reimer (virtuousradicals.com)

Okay. So I am going to end this here. And the last thing I want to do is just say to the woman who wants to make sure that you don't gain those holiday five and you're ready to actually not just avoid the holiday five, but lose the midlife weight without dieting, without all the self-punishment, then join our online mini retreat.

We hold them regularly and there's one coming up. So check the show notes for the next one. And in that.

Mini retreat, we're going to walk you through the exact practices and the rhythms and the mindset that will help you stay grounded, regulated, and balanced in your body through the holidays and then beyond.

So save your spot, go to the show notes, and we hope to see you there. So thank you so much for listening.

If this was helpful, please share it with a friend. And we have a big message that we want to share with the world, and we're very grateful for that.

All right. That's it, Sher. I'll talk to you soon. Talk to you soon.