41: Unhinged: What Your Aching Hips Are Really Trying to Tell You

Unhinged: What Your Aching Hips Are Really Trying to Tell You

If your aching hips are keeping you up at night (or from walking normally during the day) this episode is for you.  We go three layers deep into midlife hip pain: the physiology most doctors skip, the emotions stored in the pelvic area, and the energetic truth your hips are trying to speak.

Hip pain in midlife is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - symptoms women experience. Most of the conversation stops at bursitis. But your body is not that simple, and neither are you.

In this episode, we go three layers deep into:

• the science of what's actually happening in your joints: including the estrogen connection most doctors don't explain, the psoas muscle nobody talks about, and the vicious sleep-pain-inflammation loop
• the emotional anatomy of the hips: what the identity shake-ups, suppressed anger, and nervous system dysregulation have to do with your pain
• the energetic truth: how both the sacral and root chakras map directly onto your hips, and what a blocked or imbalanced energy center in this area is really asking you to look at

This isn't about managing your symptoms. It's about listening to what they're trying to tell you.

You are going to discover: 

• Why estrogen loss accelerates cartilage breakdown in all the joints
• What the psoas muscle is, and how chronic stress keeps it permanently locked
• The sleep-pain-inflammation loop and how to start breaking it
• Why the hips are the body's emotional storage unit for the key stressors that hit right in the middle of life
• The role of suppressed anger in hip tension and why midlife women carry so much of it
• The connection to the sacral chakra and what happens when it's blocked

Stay until the end because I'm going to give you one simple practice (no, it's not a stretch or mobility movement) that you can do in 10 minutes to alleviate hip pain.

The Midlife Red Tent

If you can't seem to shake your hip pain - or any other joint pain - the missing piece is almost always the emotional and spiritual layers. Inside the Midlife Red Tent, we go deep on exactly this: not just the physical solution but the stories behind the symptoms, and the practices that create real change.  We're accepting new members now, so join us here: Midlife Red Tent details

Join us in Costa Rica, October 2026 for our Retreat: Soul-Aligned - Design Your Extraordinary Next Chapter! Click here for details.

Find us on instagram:

 @midlifewomenrising

@jenreimercoaching

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome. This is the Midlife Rising Podcast. Joint pain. This is something I'm hearing a lot about recently from my friends and clients who are complaining about it. And it's something that I didn't realize until not that long ago actually is a symptom of menopause. Most of us who have had joint pain and we go to a doctor about it, it stops at the physical. And what I want to do today is go three layers deep, not just the physical, but let's talk about the mind andor emotional and spiritual connections to joint pain, specifically hip pain. Hip pain is super common in midlife. And so I'm going to dive deep into this one particular symptom. And not only that, you're going to hear a lot more about the specific symptoms and looking at them from a more holistic perspective, body, mind, and spirit. So if you want more of that, stay with us. And if you want to hear more about the hips, stay tuned for today's episode. You're a woman over 40 who spent your life being the one who holds it all together. But now your body's changing and your soul is done pretending everything is fine. Welcome to Midlife Rising. We're your hosts, Sherry and Jen, twin sisters and modern medicine women, here to help you rewire your stress response, balance your hormones, and reclaim your feminine power. Every episode is a rebellion against the rules you never agreed to and a return to yourself. Join us where Midlife isn't a crisis, it's a catalyst. Welcome back. I am really excited to be here today to talk about something new in a new way. And by the way, it's Sherry today. I am going solo. And so what we're going to talk about are the hips, hip joint pain in particular. And the reason I wanted to really dive into this one today is because, first of all, it was one of the symptoms that I had, and it was almost, well, it was debilitating. I'm going to tell you my story in a few minutes, but I'm also hearing from clients and from friends that joint pain, specifically hip pain, is something that is really, really causing them issues today. It keeps them from sleeping, it keeps them from moving the way that they want to move. And so then it keeps them from exercise. And all of those things, then it's a bit of a downward spiral, right? If you're not sleeping, you're not exercising, then your whole health is also going to start going down that spiral. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to talk about the body first because it is important that you understand the physiology going on behind this. There is a scientific reason why women experience hip pain in menopause, perimenopause, in midlife. So let's talk about that first. And then I'm going to get into the emotional and the spiritual connections as well. So, firstly, most women are never told this one fact. We have estrogen receptors all over the body, including in the cartilage. Estrogen is what keeps cartilage, it keeps collagen, keeps our synovial fluid, it keeps all of that working properly. It keeps it flexible, it keeps the synovial fluid, which is your joint lubricant, it keeps, it produces that. And then inflammation is going to increase. The other thing that I'm seeing a little bit of research on is the connection between estrogen and cortisol. So there is science around when estrogen drops. It does, or when we have normal levels of estrogen, it acts as a bit of a protector from cortisol. And then when it drops, our cortisol increases and we tend to experience more stress. That's a vicious cycle as well. And that cortisol can also impact the joints. So there's definitely a connection there between estrogen dropping and feeling joint pain. Now, the other thing that happens, I found this so fascinating. This is what happens in the muscle around the hip. So there is something called the psoas muscle that is sort of right on the, you can stretch it when you stand up and sort of kick your leg back. It's that front of the hip. But really, it's it's actually a really deep muscle that connects the spine to the top of the femur. This is the only muscle that links the upper body to the lower body. So of course, there's gonna be a lot of weight on that muscle. There's a lot of, it's gotta carry a lot. And this is what I found really fascinating. This is the first muscle to contract when you feel threatened or when you feel unsafe. So imagine 20 years, 30 years of chronic busyness, stress, overdrive, all of that pressure creates a tight psoas muscle. It never actually gets to release. And so when you've been trying to hold it all together for so many years, that muscle could also be chronically locked. And so your mobility is also going to be limited by the muscle, not just the joints. And then because Jen and I talk a lot about sleep, I want to bring in that sleep pain connection. There's a loop there as well. Joint pain will completely disrupt your sleep, especially if it's your hips. And then poor sleep spikes your cortisol, cortisol increases inflammation. That inflammation is going to lead to more pain, and then that's gonna lead to worse sleep. So there is some research on this, and even just a few nights of reduced sleep will raise inflammation. So if you're waking up in the middle of the night with aching hips, then you might also be caught in this loop. I certainly was. So we're gonna get into the mind and the emotional connection. And here's where my story comes in. So the first time that I experienced hip pain, it was, I think, around 2019. And my husband and I had traveled to San Diego. I was gonna attend a conference there, and then we were going to head to Palm Springs for a little mini vacation for a few days. And the time at the conference, I was surrounded by mothers. I'm not a mother, and this was right around the time when I was my fertility was declining. I was entered, I was definitely in perimenopause, and I was surrounded by women where I didn't feel like I belonged, where I felt very unstable. I mean, I was away from home. And I really felt like a lot of these women at this conference knew each other. And I didn't quite, I didn't feel comfortable. I didn't feel like I fit in. And so that whole four or five days, four days that I was there, I just felt this, well, chronic stress for one thing, because I was always sort of on edge and also an anxiety. And then also this feeling of not fitting in, not belonging. I also wasn't, I wasn't one of the top. This was a network marketing company. I definitely was not a top producer. So I felt like I wasn't as good as these other women who were doing so well. So there was a whole bunch of things going on in my mind on repeat for for four maybe five days. And by the time we got to Palm Springs, I remember arriving. I felt fine. We were walking down the street, and within half an hour, my hip felt gradually worse. I couldn't think of anything I had done. I hadn't really done any like really crazy exercises. I didn't injure it in some way. I could not figure out what happened. And by the time we went from there's a main street in Palm Springs. If you've ever been there, you will know it. Because there's only really one. By the time we got from one end of the street to the other, I was in so much pain. I went from no pain to severe pain where I could barely walk. And for the next three days, I was not sleeping. Every time I turned over, every I couldn't sleep on my on my side, I couldn't sleep on my back. Every way hurt, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. The moment we got on the plane, the hip pain went away. It was the oddest thing how quickly it dissipated. And later on, a few years later, a few, maybe about two years later, I went through something similar. It came back. And this time I called the doctor. The first time I was in California, I I didn't, I didn't, I just took some i ibuprofen and and that was that, dealt with the pain. But the second time, it was going on for a little bit longer, it was just as severe, and I was at home. So I called the doctor. This is during COVID. So I I called and he told me that I had bursitis. So I thought, oh, okay, well, that makes sense. And that's fine. I can put some heat and cold on it and take some anti-inflammatories and it should go away. And it did, but it kept coming back over the years at varying levels of pain. And when I finally started to look at what was going on in my life, at each of the points where this happened, I started to uncover something. And I do have to give some credit to my spiritual mentor and energy healer because she really helped me understand this. Always looking at the emotional connection of a physical symptom. Our bodies are not only messengers of what it needs physically, they are also messengers telling us what we might need emotionally. So here's what happens with the hips. First of all, the hips are the body's seat of belonging, safety, creativity, home. So of course, when I was in California and attending this conference, I did not feel like I belonged. I felt unstable. I didn't know really how I was going to move forward or what I was going to do with that business, with my network marketing business. The second time it happened, we had to move very quickly, like within two weeks, we found out we were going to have to move. And someone else was moving into our home. And I was so flustered and unfelt unstable and didn't know when we were going to be able to go back to our home. So there was that same feeling of instability and this feeling of not, you know, I was in a, I was actually living in the city or the town next door to mine. So I wasn't close to my friends anymore, also during COVID. So there was another huge factor of instability. And so when I look back on that, each time that this has happened, where I've had this hip pain, there's been something like that in my life. Hip pain also surfaces when we feel unsupported or when we fear or resist what's next. And in the case of moving, I definitely was fearing what was next and I was resisting it. The other thing that happens with the hips and what happens in midlife is that there's this identity shift. And we we can't really avoid it. We there's first of all, there's the empty nest. Whether you have kids or not, if you don't, there can still be this feeling of an empty nest, and our fertility is declining. So we're we're not creating anymore, not creating people, that is. We also might have aging parents. We go through career shifts, relationship shifts. So all of this can really cause a shakeup in our identities. There can also be a lot of grief around that. Our self-worth is really shaken up. There's some some uncertainty about well, who am I now? What am I going to do with my next chapter? It feels, we feel a little bit untethered. So that's the second piece of the emotional. And then this is something that I think a lot of women feel in midlife is anger. And so I have to pause here for a second because I think that there is a general acceptance that we carry stress in our shoulders and maybe the neck as well. We actually carry emotion in all the parts of our bodies. We just don't really talk about that part. The stress in our shoulders, our shoulders get tight, they get sore. That seems very accepted and known. But what we don't talk enough about is the different types of emotions that show up in other parts of our bodies. So in the hip flexors, it's anger. Suppressed anger and resentment that can show up in the hip flexors. And this is actually documented in somatic research. And most women are socialized to hold anger in the body rather than to express it. So of course, then if over the years we start storing so much anger, the hips are eventually going to feel it. And I actually wonder too, I mean, the rage can come out in midlife, and that can be a sort of release. So question for you, my dear listeners. Maybe think about what you have been holding? What kind of anger? Maybe what kinds of identity shifts are you experiencing? And what are you resisting or fearing about all of that or about the future? Now, there is also a nervous system connection. I can't not talk about the nervous system connection because Jen and I have really started to hone in on the nervous system and how it connects to midlife. Because the that SOAS muscle tenses, it's the first muscle to tense when you are in fight or flight or freeze. Chronic hip tension can indicate that your body is actually stuck in that, that you are just in a chronic state of fight or flight or freeze. The other thing that I'm that I also found really fascinating is that the hips, when that SOAS muscle tightens, it brings your knees up. And so the hips actually will hold us in a fetal position, which is exactly what we do when we feel unsafe. That would be more like the freeze or the fawning position to curl up into ourselves to go into that fetal position. So there's a safety, there's a maybe a feeling of unsafety. And when we release that, then the hips can open up. Okay. Next I want to get into the spiritual connection. And by the way, when I say spiritual connection, this all connects, all three of these things, like there's science behind the spiritual connection and how it connects to the physiology. So while this might feel a little bit woo-woo, there's actually science behind this as well. So what I want to bring up first is the sacral chakra, which is the womb chakra. It's the second chakra. It is located pretty much on the sacrum, which is why it's called the sacral chakra, but it's it's sort of just below the navel. And this is the one that's most directly connected to the hips. The sacral chakra governs our creativity, of course. The womb space is where we create. We create life there, but we also create art, music. It's where we problem solve from. Oh, okay, it's how we move through change, but it's also where our self-worth sits. So of course, this makes so much sense. When you are going through the transition of menopause, your creative, your life creation energy is winding down. And there's a lot of emotion or grief that can come with that in our society, where aging is seen as a bad thing, as a negative, as a decline, we can start to feel invisible as women, and we can start to feel like we are no longer as valuable or worthy in society. So all of that can lead to hip pain. When the sacral chakra, which is just your energy centers, there's there's actually many of them in the body, but we we really talk mostly about the seven chakras. A blocked sacral chakra in midlife can show up as hip pain. It can show up as other womb-related issues. So things like endometriosis, that's not necessarily just a menopausal thing, cervical cancer, um, low back pain, also not just a menopausal thing, but womb-related issues can show up, but also emotional issues that will manifest if there's a block there is creative numbness. So this feeling of a lack of creativity. It could be guilt, feelings of guilt or not deserving. And because the Sagal Chakra is also the pleasure center, you might stop feeling pleasure or joy. And then the other spiritual link is coming back to this fear or resistance to moving forward. And of course, that's gonna show up in menopause as well. Many of us do fear moving forward. We want to, we hang on to youth for dear life. Are the way that we look, we want to look younger, we want to feel younger, and so we resist aging in general. If you don't have children like me, then you might really resist the winding down. Of your fertility that may come with a lot of resistance, but even for mothers, that can bring a lot of grief. We might resist that. There might be a feeling like there's nothing to move forward to. If it looks like aging is just going to be a decline, if this is like the beginning of the downhill over the hill, then you may feel a lot of fear or resistance to that when you're in your 40s, 50s, and maybe early 60s. So all of this, I've kind of just covered the physical, the emotional, or the mind, and the spirit. What I would ask you to do now is to just reflect on what resonated for you. So especially if you have feel like you've tried everything to help your hip pain and nothing seems to be working, then that's an indication that there may be something emotional or spiritual that's linked that's that's causing it or keeping you from healing it. Your body's giving you a message. So is there something? Ask yourself, am I resisting, moving forward? Is there something that I don't want to move forward into? Is there anger that you maybe have been suppressing and that's being held there? Are you maybe stuck in fight or flight? Do you feel like you're under a lot of pressure? And by the way, most of us are. That's like I feel like all of us have been under chronic pressure for the for most of our adult lives. Is there an identity shift going on for you? Have are your children leaving the house? Do you have aging parents? Are you, do you have a career shift going on or a relationship shift, maybe going through a separation, or your friendships are shifting? Ask yourself these questions. What resonates for me? And then I'm going to give you a little practice, something that you could try. And by the way, these are all, these are all practices, these are all things that we talk about inside the midlife red tent. We go so much further into the actual how to physically, emotionally, and spiritually release symptoms. So if that's something that you are interested in getting that holistic approach, then we are opening up the midlife red tent at you can join now for 97 bucks. It's like the cheapest that we've we've offered it at. So I'll drop that link in the show notes. But for now, to start with, maybe do some journaling. I love to just close my eyes, place my hands on my hips, and ask my hips, what do you need? What are you trying to tell me? What are you trying to say? Or what do you, why are you calling for my attention? And then just open up your eyes and and write without editing, just like free write, see what comes up. It might surprise you. It might not be what you expected, but go with it. Okay. Wrapping up, I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with you if your hips are feeling some pain right now. They're speaking to you. So go back through this episode and just ask what might they be trying to tell you. We are going to get into all the different symptoms. Every couple of episodes, we'll we'll probably do one of these to help really kind of get through all the different symptoms. So come back to the Midlife Rising podcast and listen again for the symptoms that you have. And again, this is just one of the symptoms that we cover inside the Midlife Red Tent and how we cover it. So we see the emotional and the spiritual piece as something that's really missing in the menopause industry. And it really plays a huge role. So if you can't seem to get rid of your hip pain or other joint pain, you need to get in there. And as I said, you can get in now for 97 bucks. Just go to midlifewomenrising.com slash red tent, and I will link that up in the show notes. So come back, Jen will be back next week. We're gonna do another episode together and come back for more of these symptom related episodes because we're gonna be doing a lot more of those.